I keep a notebook of the quirky or memorable things that Lydia says clipped to the fridge with a magnet. Every few days or so, she gives me something to add to it (most recently, “It’s not time for eating people!”), but I’m realizing that, really, Mitch deserves his very own notebook.
From the early days of our marriage, he has won my heart over again and again with his charming misuse of idioms. For example, he said “peachy king” for years, instead of “peachy keen,” until his mean-spirited English major of a wife came along and corrected him.
Instead of “voluptuous,” he said “volumptuous,” a change that we both agreed was an improvement and have permanently adopted. (Imagine our delight when Gloria made the same mistake on Modern Family!)
There are many, many more examples that are even better than those, but I have tragically forgotten them. Because I did not write them down.
For a while, I thought that we’d reached the end of the misuses: perhaps we’d been married long enough that all of them had been outed and corrected, but the other night, he did it again: while discussing something serious and probably stressful, he unintentionally lightened the mood by saying, “Well, we’ll burn that bridge when we get there.”
I giggled, and could not stop giggling for the longest time, but when I did, I wrote it down. In my notebook.