So THIS is why people bought us so many onesies

Recently, our daughter discovered the classic infant art of spitting up.

Yes, I know, those of you who have children are laughing, shuddering and nodding your heads knowingly while those of you who don’t are wondering why on earth I’m even posting about this.

I need the therapy. That’s why.

As Lydia’s most popular canvases, both Mitch and I are finding this a difficult art form to endorse. For the most part, she adorns us with wee dollops of regurgitated lunch (or second breakfast, or elevensies, or midnightsies – really, there’s a variety of meals to choose from), with the occasional foray into larger scale projects that involve soiled clothes and sponge baths and barely withheld curses.

Nothing so far has come even close to Sunday’s masterpiece, an eruption so sudden and huge and unstoppable that Mitch actually used the words “waterfalling” and “cascading” when describing what, exactly, Lydia’s work did while it ran down my belly and puddled in my lap. The kid soaked every single article of clothing I had on, and when I say “soaked,” I am not exaggerating: I had to peel them off of my grossly damp skin as I ran for the shower. And when I say “every single article,” I mean underwear and bra included (I was not wearing socks), and just for good measure, let’s throw in the cushion of the chair I was sitting on.

The event so traumatized Mitch and I that even the daintiest burp sends us running for cover. Give us a hiccup and we’re on the alert, burp cloths at the ready, just in case.


7 thoughts on “So THIS is why people bought us so many onesies

  1. Rebecca

    Yeah. New babies are awesome. And they are also full of poop and barf (has she started having the explosive-out-the-back-of her-outfit poops yet? If not, there’s something to look forward to.).

  2. Lisa

    dear thea….you have been christened with love…(as I shudder at the memories)! You could always resort to wearing a rain poncho…I guess it would have to be a body suit, wouldn’t it…

  3. Rainsmamma

    Don’t the numerous-spit-up days make you love the onsies that snap up the front !? No screaming baby as their head squeezes through the neck hole. Rain was a queen at the over-eat until I puke EVERYWHERE scenario…until about 3 months old. Just think…2 more months of 6 outfits a day 🙂

  4. Cheri Mallahan

    Some unsolicited advice. Biz detergent is the only thing I found that gets the spit up smell out of clothes. I tried every “natural” product out there. I finally got sick of smelling like a dairy farm – Biz was the answer.

    But I would take a good spit-up over an up-the-back poop explosion, anyday!

  5. Pingback: Second reunion in less than a month? Yes. « the little bird

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