As you may have heard, I’ve been busy combining my book site with this one, which means I’ve had to manually go through and copy and paste every damn entry from one blog to the other. This has been a tedious process, but an enlightening one, as it’s provided me with an opportunity to go back and read some of my earlier entries from both blogs.
Why enlightening? Well, it’s interesting to have such evidence of the changes one undergos over the course of a year. Some of the sassy rants that I’ve posted over the course of my blogging career I find entertaining (yes, I’m the sort to laugh at my own jokes, it’s true), but a lot of them express views that I no longer hold, or views that, alas, I never really held in the first place, as some were written with a specific audience in mind that might approve of or be irritated by whatever point I attempted to make. What I’m saying is: I noticed a trend in my writing of trying to impress whomever I imagined to be reading the entries. You, dear reader. I was trying to impress you.
Not the least significant of these earlier entries was the one I posted last winter about my attitude toward Christmas (The Birth of Santa). This was an entry that I was ambivalent about posting in the first place, since I didn’t actually feel that I’d made my point, and didn’t feel that I could without giving more personal info than I intended, or even wanted, to give–and so I left it as it was.
It’s true that last year was a particularly stressful holiday for me, and I notice already that this year is somehow not. Being involved in a church has made a big difference, as we will be celebrating Advent for the first time ever, but I find I’m also getting excited about the holiday in a way I never have before. I ascribe a fair share of this enthusiasm to the fact that I will not be Christmas shopping this year. At all.
I mentioned earlier that I’ll be making all my gifts, and I think this is helping to turn the season into a more meditative one–making gifts for nearly thirty people is peaceful and repetitive, particularly because I haven’t put it off until the last moment.
Also, I’m excited to spend time with my family, to sing Christmas carols in church, to decorate trees, bake cookies and to not set foot inside a departement store even once. Already, I’m thinking this year will be a good year.