Jobs I always wanted (I haven’t lost hope yet)*

Namer of paint chips.
I love the paint section of Fred Meyer, just because they have those whole displays of paint chips with names like Caribbean Green, Hula Hoop Pink & Fine Wine. I could do that, I know I could. Just set me up in a lab with some paint samples and away I go!

Inferno Orange. Cloudless Summer Sky. Semi-dried pine needle Green.

I’d be happy naming nail polish, too. “Not your mother’s Seashell Pink.” And so on.

“Candice Steele has it all: a hot career in publishing, a boyfriend so sexy that even grandmas stop and stare, and flawless fashion sense. There’s only one hitch–she’s also a werewolf.”

Seriously. That blurb may be a paraphrase, but I did read something alarmingly similar to it on the back of a novel. With some slight twists in language, that book could sound a little less like trash (maybe only a little, but that’s something) and more, well, interesting:

“Publishing executive, Candice Steele–“. “What Candice’s lover doesn’t know is–“. “…but in a dramatic twist of events, Candice becomes–“

No. Nevermind. There’s just no saving that one.

Reviewer of books.
I do this one for free, you know.

And would somebody please pay me to write? That would just make my day.


*Though I am ridiculously pleased with my current job (don’t worry, Ed).


One thought on “Jobs I always wanted (I haven’t lost hope yet)*

  1. Sean

    I wrote a short short story about two years ago…the driving creative force being names of paint and that whole “color psychology” phenominon. It wasn’t that good but I enjoied writing it.

    Yes, someone should pay you to write. If not for the simple fact that you are more talented than half of the ones getting paid…then I don’t know a better reason. And even the ones getting a check or two cut, supposedly they are waaaayyyy too small. But of course, that would make life easy…and we know that will not happen.

    I cannot thank you enough for reading my shit. I look forward to your comments too often.

    Enjoy life in the West.


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